Archives: The 'WHYs' after being in Love!

Dear all,

I really don’t remember what exactly triggered me to write the following article. I do remember that it was penned after a serious ‘bakar session’ with some friend, on an impulse.

It would be highly appreciated if the personal angle is not exemplified while reading this post. It was written on an impulse. And today I found it in my diary and on another impulse I am posting it online.

As always, Happy Reading!

Kinshuk

(02.05.2010)

Today’s topic is very personal and extremely close to my heart.

LOVE; love not as in the noble and general sense; but love as the empowering emotion shared between a girl and a boy, so much so that they never want to let go of each other. Love, with all its sweetness and tenderness, with all its seduction and sensualities, with all its fragility and softness and with all its companionship and understanding.

No, I shall not write about the noble relations of love, between a mother and a child, a teacher and a student or any other similar relation where the ‘Love’ is revered and the lovers honoured. Why does it all go wrong only when a girl and boy of marriageable age decide to like and love each other and dream about spending their lives happily together? The moment they admit and announce their will to get married, all kinds of reactions are reciprocated. In a typical orthodox set-up, the permission is out-rightly denied, the two are forbidden to even look at each other (and similar such restrictions are imposed). Soon enough, the two are married off to two different persons altogether. Thereby dreams of at least two and at max all four are destroyed forever.

In the more modern scenario, families having a more ‘broad minded’ approach towards society react quite differently, at least outwardly. The two sets of families give their consent, meet up, finalize the ceremonies and finally the two kids get married.

But, Hey! Hold on……. There is a little glitch. Let us try analyzing our broad-minded families inwardly…...

Apprehensions and resentment are two different emotions with just slight justification for each other. Inwardly, it is rare that the two sets of families are happy, really happy about their respective kids getting a partner they (the latter) yearned for, for life. The two sets resent each other on the whole and the kids in particular for putting them up in such a situation.

How come issues like religion, cast, and community take the bigger stage and happiness becomes secondary. When family backgrounds are similar, the girl and the boy are mature, well settled (professionally), have financial stability in life and are such people who cannot be distinguished on such basis unless one has prior information about the differences; then why do one’s cast, creed and colour become more important the moment the discussion is about ‘Marriage’.

The said couple is fully prepared, mentally, to do everything possible to keep the two families happy and satisfied, but nothing much is in their hands to resolve the resentments.

Apprehensions of course are justified and therefore can be resolved. And yes they will do every possible thing to please and appease the families. But please, please dear God, help them with the resentments.

When I befriended him, it was not an issue. When we became the best friends, it still was not an issue. So why does it become an issue now? He is an extremely caring person, understands me absolutely, tolerates my irrationalities unconditionally, loves me more than anything else in this world, can go to any extent just to ensure my happiness and comfort….. Add to it the level of social security and status our professions provide; thus the practical issues are also sorted….. If these are not enough reasons for us to get married, then what are?

WHY? Why the big why comes here? Why does anyone at all has to judge us for things beyond our control; things which don’t make us or mar us?

I know I have to win the heart of everyone in his family. I wish one day Uncle – Aunty shall be able to say that they are proud of their son and his wife (and that shall be me).

I also wish that with time all the apprehensions of my parents get sorted and that they should tell me one day that they are proud of my decision and that they are proud of him.

Dear God, you have guided us through and through, please let us be what we have dreamt of, so often. Let us be able to keep everyone in our families happy, really happy……………

Kinshuk

(28.10.2009, 22:20 hrs)