(Part 1 of 3)
Finally, picking up a pen (figuratively indeed!!) after almost a decade. Moreover, there is big question mark looming over regarding whether this post will see the end of the tunnel!
This post has been on my mind since almost a month now, more so to declutter my own thoughts rather than to reflect upon the recent turn of events. In reality, as life moves on these days, time devoted to introspections, reflections and decluttering is usually cut short at the cost of 'more important' aspects of life, like earning a livelihood and running the household!! Sorry state of modern urban living!!
However, as a friend recently implored me to "write whenever I can but restart", so finally today I did take the liberty to log on and click on the 'new post' icon, without any assurance of what will come next.
Some two & a half months back my life took a very unexpected turn, when a fellow officer approached me seeking my willingness to attend a month long residential training program titled Cutting Edge (in short CE).
To start things from the start, let me give some background abt CE. When I was an A grade officer at Panipat, we were exposed to this phrase Cutting Edge with lot of value and privilege attached to it. I had seen so many of my really deserving and inspirational seniors (about 8-10 years elder to us in hierarchy) getting nominated for this 'flagship' elite program. And in those days of naivety, it seemed like a really big deal. Moreover, since a very few people of any batch used to attend this program, it used to feel really special to our eyes. Sub-consciously, during those days, getting nominated to such an elite program became part of the so called bucket list.
Fast forward to 12 years, after passage of ample water under the bridge and some journeys on the 'roads less travelled by', I received a rather pleasant surprise in my inbox to find the invitation to join the CE training program in Nov'2022. However, the universe conspired to ensure that I could not attend the same for personal & professional reasons all around.
So, this year when I was again offered a chance to tick off the bucket list, I felt a little determined not to let go. Obviously, absence of a month from home, that too in a new city with Abhishek's unpredictable schedules was going to be a challenging task. However, Abhishek was equally determined to let me go this time, despite the difficulties he would have to handle.
Now, cutting the preface a little short, it so happened that I ended up being a part of this 'elite' 'flagship' training program of IOCL known as 'Cutting Edge'; and in multiple ways it became one of the most transformative and cherished experiences of my life in recent times.
After spending so many years as the 'odd MAN out' in most professional set-ups by the virtue of my gender, which is further accentuated by the virtue of my persona which has great difficulties in making personal connects/bonds with ease, I have finally started accepting my situation head on rather than feeling awkward/shy about it.
Therefore, when I stepped out of my home to start this journey, I was kind of mentally prepared to spend a month in solitude. I was more than happy to be away from the daily routines of household & motherly duties. I came to this program with literally zero expectations on the personal bonding front. I had braced myself mentally to converse with one and all but not to expect any extraordinary bonds anywhere. I definitely did not expect to make 'proper' friends (& not just FB ones!!) during this training.
Perhaps so much of mental bracing up, made it easier for me to put up a brave face... In any case, approaching any experience with zero expectations always makes the aftertaste better.
On the designated day, I reached the IIPM hostel at around dinner time and tentatively took an empty seat on an almost full dining table. And with so much of mental preparedness, it was easier than normal for me to get into the ongoing conversations... Now in hindsight, as I retrospect, I realise that everyone at that dinner table ended up being my good companion for the entire training. Perhaps it was all part of the bigger plan destiny had mapped for all of us.
First phase of the training program composed of an outbound component, where we were taken on a 6.5 hours journey to the outskirts of Jim Corbett National Park and made to participate in multiple group activities. And this became the starting point of the transformational journey!!
Over a period of next 2.5 days, we were grouped and regrouped into multiple teams, where we collaborated and cooperated with a variety of people. I guess by the end of the first team activity, mental barriers began to break and all discriminatory factors began to disappear. However, the biggest achievement of the official training part was that by the second day, we finally knew everyone's name :)
Also, one of the biggest takeaways of this training also happened during OBT itself, when we as a group decided to visit the jungle safari even though it was not on the official schedule. It was the precursor to the formation of the Chill Pill whatsapp group, which seems to be outliving most other such training based whatsapp groups (lets see for how long!!).
Going to a jungle safari in a group of about 30 people in open jeeps, which was mostly a really long drive through picturesque routes, forests and jungles with awesome weather was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. It in fact rained substantially during the journey and we braved the rains with signing unceremoniously in loud, off-key notes at the top of our voices while standing in the jeeps!! And even though there was absolutely zero animal sighting (as expected), it was one of the most enjoyable jungle safari experience most of us had.
One of my personal major achievements at the OBT was allowing myself to let loose!!
At evening pre dinner gatherings out there I found myself trying my luck at Carrom and I found myself humming along in a utterly dissonant tones, loud enough for others to hear when a fellow trainee sang while playing the guitar. The cherry on the cake was that at one such gathering, I could overcome my self imposed barriers to dance (badly no doubt, but still..) along with the group. Somehow I had managed to brace myself against criticism, against being made fun of and being laughed at!! And this resilience of sorts gave me the courage to just be.. to not be bothered about the biggest worries of my life, which has bothered me almost at every stage of my social life - "what will others say!!"
Here it would be very wrong on my part if try to take the entire credit for such intense transformation. There was (or is) something unique about the attendees of CE-43. There was something in that air that gave us certain level of confidence, comfort and encouragement in each other's presence. Everyone made fun of others. Everyone was made fun of by others. And no one took it to heart in the demeaning way. Any trait which could be sorted or improved upon was taken up in the right spirit. At every instance, there was someone or the other available to provide mental/ moral support and guidance to overcome whatever idiosyncrasies' the other one had. There was an immense undercurrent of 'Gyaan' and 'Gyaan' flowed from all directions! Age/ experience/ cultural or societal differences didn't matter. To some extent even inter divisional differences didn't matter. The amount of harmony and goodwill in the environment was unbelievable!!
(To be continued...)
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