Archives: Reasons

REASONS

She woke up to the sound of her alarm, it was already 6. She had planned to get up an hour earlier today; she had been postponing some tasks for too long. However, now she couldn’t gather the will to slip out of the sheets and get going. She tried closing her eyes and snatching some more minutes of the precious rarity; sleep, but failed even at this. She just lay still, staring at the ceiling, the fan and suddenly realized that it was time for payment of bills, but she was in no mood of thinking about them, then. Her eyes wandered to the walls and some patches caught her attention. She had promised herself, this year she will definitely have the house repainted, but the year was drawing to an end. Anyways she thought, and pushed all the worries out of her mind. She wanted to think about something happy; she wanted to remember her youth, her friends and…..

She could very well recall the last day they had spent together, before they separated. It was a bright sunny morning. They were sitting in their favourite spot near that lake and trying to keep their tears from falling by keeping quiet. Finally they could not hold it any longer; he had asked, “You are really keen on this. Is nothing going to change your mind?” All she could reply was, “You know everything and even my reasons” He took her hands in his. He felt so warm. They had spent the rest of the day sitting like that, holding hands as tears marked two paths on their cheeks. The next morning he had gone and even her life got back on track gradually.

She lay still in bed, and tried to recall the day she had told him about her decision. They had gone on a coffee date and she had been unusually quiet. He had asked her many times, “What’s the matter dear, what’s troubling you so” but she had yet not gathered enough courage to speak out her mind. Finally as they paid the bills, she knew, it was now or never. She had asked him to stroll a little before going home. He took her hands, she was sweating really badly. She had managed to say, “I can’t come with you.” He was shattered. He couldn’t believe what he heard. Theirs had been a ten year old relationship and now she was asking him to go alone. How could this be? They had the best understanding and even though he had feared that something of this type was coming, he had been praying for them to remain together. But, today, life was falling like a house of cards. She had finally given voice to his greatest fears, and he knew argument will not help their case. He closed his eyes for two moments, took hold of himself and then put his arms around her. He drew her in a hug and managed to say, “I understand dear, but I will always love you.” They had parted that way.

She thought about the days that had followed. Her guilt had been so high, but he had supported her. He explained to her about God’s bigger plan. He explained that living distantly wouldn’t diminish their love. He had made her understand that perhaps they could get back together later in life.

She had no desire to climb out of bed. She cherished every memory of him, loved recalling them. It calmed her. It gave her strength. She thought about the time when he had come running to her place with an envelope fluttering in his hand. “My project has been selected. Two years of hard work is beginning to repay.” He was just so happy. They had celebrated that day in their typical style; two cups of coffee, handful of matharis and soft music in background. However, this happiness had a tinge of sadness involved. This meant he would be working abroad for next five years. This implied that she would have to leave her wards, and this was a tough decision.

Three years ago, when he was just figuring out methods to improve the construction technologies, she had started this scheme called ‘Sparsh’. She had gathered a group of seven boys and girls, all issues of the fourth class employees of the neighbourhood, and had started teaching them. Education, she felt was of utmost importance. In these three years she had realized their strong and weak points very well. She was working hard towards making them self dependent, responsible citizens of the nation. She had her dreams for these children, but if she was to go away, all her hard work will have been in vain. She had actually fought with the parents of her wards so that they could study. She knew if she would go away, the girls would be married off and the boys will end up with their fathers’ jobs. It had been a tough task and she could not leave it incomplete. The best part had been that he had understood her thoughts. He didn’t pressurize her to accompany him. Instead they had decided to carry on with their paths, with the faith that they will meet again in future.

Future, she thought about, and realized that it was time to wake up finally. Her eldest ward was appearing for his first board exam today. She had to wish him luck. She got off the bed thinking about the tasks she had to finish today, the faith undeterred that one day God will reward them for their sacrifice, after all they all had their reasons.

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The above story has been published in the college magazine (issue of 2007 Spring Semester).