Dreams: Accomplishment or a new start ?

”Beep”. She impatiently fumbled through her purse and took out her mobile. It was his message, one single word, ‘Gandhidham’. She stared at it for two minutes. She felt slightly happy, but was unsure about how to react to it. She desperately wanted to talk to him, but she knew it well that at the first possible moment he would call. This was one moment both of them had been looking forward to since past so many years.

She sat at her desk thinking about the numerous talks they had had in this regard during last two years. Especially, ever since his zone was allotted, they used to dream hopefully about a fairy tale kind of a story. Of course, it was always clear to them that once married, nothing shall come in the way of their living together. However, they wanted it to be simple with not much justification to their parents.

For them, their priorities had been very clear, almost ever since they became couple. They just wanted to be together. Their simple dream was to be able to lie next to each other while saying ‘Good night’ and to be able to wake up in each other’s arms watching each other’s innocent smile. And to ensure that this simple dream came true, they had been working hard to make ends meet. Finally, she was into a job which offered locations close enough to his probable postings. And all that they were looking forward to was his posting.

Gandhidham, his place of posting, was going to be the city where their dreams were going to be realized. It was here that they were going to start their life as ‘Them’ instead of ‘His’ and ‘Her’. Lost in these thoughts, her mind wandered to all the issues associated with this message. In her heart, she was feeling good about Gandhidham, as it offered her an easy chance of transfer. Therefore, it implied that she wouldn’t have to justify to anyone about her plans to resign from her current job in a year or two. Moreover, since the option of transfer was open, thus no one could ever blame him for the resignation.

She knew it too well that she no longer wanted to continuing working in her present organization. Gradually this desire to resign had transformed itself from the impulsive tone to that of a nagging thought, constantly barging at the inside of her head. She felt very little satisfaction in whiling away her time at office and sometimes even while at site. The sudden headache she used to have in past due to stress had been replaced by a mild but continuous headache. It was as if a bunch of flies used to attack her the moment she used to enter the office premises and these would go away only after she was back at home and had a strong cup of tea along with a heart warming talk with either her mother or him or both.

All her ideas about good work culture and delivering quality work had been changed, forcibly so. She was totally disillusioned by the system and no longer had the zeal to try changing it. She knew she was quitting early and if she stayed, may be things might get better. Moreover, in past, she herself had always argued with people who wanted to leave India for a better life that only by staying back things could be improved. But now she herself was on a similar track. However, whenever this question came up, her mind answered that she was quitting just a job but not her cause………… they will never quit their cause.

This thought led to another and she was once again lost in his thoughts. She could clearly recall the first time they had shared their dream to bring some positive change in the society. They had been so pleasantly surprised to find that individually both of them had been nurturing these plans since a long time. The fact that they both had similar opinions and plans even in this regard had only added to their bonding. That day onwards their belief grew stronger that bringing them together is a part of Bhagwaanji’s larger plan. And since then they have been making plans, minor and major, of fulfilling the task assigned to them by the Almighty. They had decided and planned that post marriage they will start some ground work for realization of their ‘big’ dream.

Thus, up till now, their aim had been to ensure that post marriage they won’t have to stay in different cities. And now it seemed that this shall happen soon, but all love and enthusiasm for her current job had started to flicker. In her heart she felt that root cause behind her disillusioned mind, behind the adjusting, ever-compromising system was to be found at more basic ground level. More so, she felt that if she has to toil, why not let it happen for a cause which leaves her feeling pleased and gratified at the end of each day. An idea had started taking shape in her mind and she was really keen on ‘Catch them young….’ philosophy.

However, the fact remained that all these ideas were too vague to be visualized and too complicated to be understood by anyone else………except him. He was her support, a pillar she could lean on in times of happiness and in times of sorrow. He emanated faith and hope and gave her the strength to go on irrespective of whatever was happening around them. And both of them knew that her resignation will not receive many favourable responses by others, definitely not right after the marriage. Thus, Gandhidham looked like their best bet; the best offer life had presented before them in this context. However, she really wanted to hear his version first, before she started formulating any opinions, after all it was he who would continue working. Moreover after her bittersweet experience of office life, she definitely didn’t want any hassles in his work, even though she knew well enough that he has always handled stress and pressure in a much better way and he shall continue to do so. Yet she hoped to hear his voice full of expectations and happiness when he would finally call her. She remembered that once he had told her that GIMB was good from his job aspect as well.

Also, her impatient, waiting mind wandered on some other tracks, bringing in front of her visuals of post marriage life. She imagined their home, she imagined herself doing the household chores, waiting for him to return home for dinner. She imagined them living together and going around places, taking walks, watching movies and many similar activities. Till now these activities were always part of a menu card with ‘Choose any two’ written in the beginning. She really looked forward to their marriage. And though, till yesterday, all she had wanted to know was where life was taking them to, now she had whole new dreams shaping up. She wondered at the irony of life, on one side it had been their dream to get his posting; now the posting itself had opened up so many different avenues for them, to set her dreaming once again.

With her heart torn between apprehension and expectation, she waited impatiently for him to call; before she could make up her mind to tell her heart to feel happy or sad; before she could decide whether it was an accomplishment of their dreams so far or whether it was going to be a new start.