Ever untitled :)

Why does my urge to write at its strongest when I am not in the best of my moods?
Has writing got anything to do with the rush of adrenalin? For that matter, has adrenalin got anything to do with the worst moods?

In past 1.5 years of blogging and of over a decade of writing diaries, one feeling has ruled for more than 90% of the times. On an average at least 3 times a day I find issues I would like to write about. But the ones which actually take the shape of alphabets from vague hues are the ones penned on an impulse - like the present article.

The tussle that ensues between the impulse to write and the mind unwilling to write about frustrated emotions is very interesting for a third party onlooker, (However, being caught up amidst the chaos is not the best position to watch). Consequently, a thousand 'gems' die at the foetal stage itself. One day I realised that the list of 'draft' posts was much longer than that of the published ones. I felt so abashed at my inability that on yet another impulse I deleted the list. That was a classic case of 'na rahega baans, na bajegi bansuri'.

Anyways, my list and moreover the ideas are once again piling up. Ideas are like dust - you can never wipe them off completely, you'll wipe a portion and it will simply be replaced by another set. The only tangible benefit of penning such thoughts is that it allows one's soul to be freed from the frustrated mind. But then, there is a huge disadvantage as well. Reading such articles at a later stage always make me feel stupid about my behaviour, sad about the situation and immature at the reactions.

Interestingly the 'not so good moods' have a lot of variety to offer. There are times when I'd be really angry, almost like having a fit; thoughts compiled under such situations would be highly incoherent in flow as well as grammar. On other occasions, there would be moments when I'd be deeply hurt; compilation of thoughts is a rare process under those circumstances, however, if at all it happens, the outcome is bound to be melancholic and can get subtle at times. The worst of all the scenarios is when I feel absolutely helpless and there is nothing that I can think of to improve (or remove) the conditions. The end result in these cases is a ranting; comparable to the outcome of a blown off safety valve; these articles are of the worst variety, they are just a collage of facts, like a sensationalized news report, even though they might be high in content, but they are very low on substance.

Infact, even the articles penned during super exicted and chirping mindset tend to get incoherent at times, but the overflowing happiness seems to hide the damage pretty well. All in all, the best articles are the ones written with a balanced mind, and a peaceful scenario (which explains why there are such jewels are extremely rare). The most difficult aspect about a penning session is giving direction to the article and seeing to it that it reaches a conclusion. After all even though ideas are never-ending, yet articles cannot go on forever.

Presently, I am simply not able to understand why this untitled piece has been written in the first place? What is it all about – a description of different articles that I write? I seriously cannot name it, can you?