Recently during an evening bakar session an interesting issue was raised; 'The similarities between donkeys and their human counterpart'.
As the discussion progressed further, I realised that 'gadha' as an abuse was actually an overrated misnomer. Donkeys are more popular as stubborn creatures and their laborious nature is usually reflected in negativity of foolishness tending to rudeness. However my friend highlighted the similarities. Well, not everyone can be categorised thus, but a few stubborn people amongst us, who have too straight a back to bend and too upright a sense of honour to modify can definitely be termed as the 'Donkey' beings.
In the days that followed I found myself pondering over those issues and soon enough I realised that I could attribute more than 50% of my daily routine acts to this donkey in me. However, wanting to project a cool non 'pappuish' image of myself (something I've been striving for since college days!), I continued ignoring this donkey for a long time. Perhaps, I had been taking it for granted. I say this because just like we Indians realise the importance of a healthy body only after falling sick, similarly, the moment I realised the conspiracy being plotted in background to strangulate my donkey, I realised its importance. To say the least it hurt, and trust me it hurt real bad.
If death is something living beings are not very fond of then I guess something worse than death can only be a 'slow' death. And this is what a handful of people were busy planning for my donkey.
Its a very hard to describe as to how it feels when the realisation begins to dawn upon a person that the whole world has set itself against him, that all his intentions are being misinterpreted and all his decisions, all his actions are being manipulated and highlighted in the wrong light. Initially, one might want to revolt and rebel, to compel others to listen and understand the correctness of his actions, the righteousness of his intentions and most importantly the genuineness of his act. But this reaction is of course impulsive and impulsive acts don't always last in the long run. Even if the person is emotional enough to take this route, he usually realises the futility of it soon enough. And then the seasoned part of the brain takes control, curbing all the instincts to do anything more vocal. This is when the real tussle begins; to do or not to do is the question to be sought. With one's heart and mind very clear on the route to take, it sure is heart wrenching not to be able to do so due to external factors. To make matters worse, these factors are not there by divine grace. These factors exist and grow because 'we' are not 'man' enough to stand tall against the flow and against the wind.
The previous statement is highly idealistic and theoretical in nature. In the practical world, intentions and will power alone are not sufficient. To elaborate further, let me make use one of the most popular starting lines from our essay writing days: 'man is a social animal'. The truth remains that we are not born martyrs and though we are born alone and leave the same way, yet there are emotional ties which prevent us from going the self destructive at the smallest of outburst. The decision to make is how small is small and when does it become big enough to take a stand!
A reader might wonder that since I’ve been babbling about genuine intentions and correct decisions then what stops me from getting them implemented and executed. Perhaps there is something lacking in the intent itself! But, hey my point remains that how much can I fight and change in spite of the external factors, from 'my position'. Standing at the bottom of the pyramid, as the odd one out (in ways more than one), I shout and shout and keep on screaming, hoping that someone will hear me someday. I don’t expect for any help, just enough support to ensure a free hand in getting the job done as per specs with a long term perspective in mind.
The donkey is willing to bear any amounts of load, doesn’t want any appreciation either, all it wants is the chance to work. Donkey being a donkey with a penchant for doing the right thing has a tendency to fall into depression when devoid of work at all. And unfortunately, this is what people around me seem to be up to. They seem to have tried all tricks from the book. Upon realizing that this one is from the old school, they have finally found a solution; even if they can't change my mind, they can definitely change me.
On days when I am low on spirits, I often think about saying 'I quit'. And just as I begin to mourn the death of my donkey, I remember some golden lines penned by Kipling 'If you can keep your head, when all about you are loosing theirs and blaming it on you'..... Ahh! Guess 'donkey' beings have always existed among mankind since inception.....So after refurbishing my spirits and giving a boost to my donkey, I usually am back to work the same ways. Quoting from something I wrote years ago, 'try as they may please, will they succeed in taming the donkey in me, I cannot say'.
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