The Mundane Issues of Routine Life :)

I woke up in the morning with a question. "What time is it?" This was followed by a series of questions thrown up in the rapid fire format. "Is it time to wake up?" "Can't I sleep for a few more minutes?" "Why has the maid not turned up yet?" "Is she going to be late?" "Am I going to be late?" "Do I really have to go to work today?" "Why is today not a holiday?" "What if I bunk all my plans and sleep up really late?" "What if I wake up with just enough time to get ready and leave for office?"

Finally, my sensible mind intervened and told me "Shut up Kinshuk! Get out of bed and get started!" That was when this thought first seeped in my mind. I realised that the initial two hours of my daily life are so routine and so full of mundane but indispensable issues that they do deserve a place on my blog.

Everyday, I spend the morning asking myself just too many questions. Living alone, I often indulge in monologues with myself, but what I have often observed is that the morning monologues are usually a series of rhetorical questions. Starting from the debate on the right time to wake up (or should I say, Is it the right time to wake up?) to issues like if at all I should cook (or not), whether I should have some breakfast, to what should I wear to work and of course, can I really not bunk office.

A regular day starts with my mind partitioning itself into two compartments, one of which cares for my comfort and pleasure (Read lazy) and the second one takes care of the practical issues. (This is quite similar to how I expect life to shape up post marriage; with me looking after the ‘pleasure’ aspects of life and Aks taking care of all the practical issues :P ) Okay, coming back to my original topic, of course the first debatable issue is about getting out of bed, but since past 3 months this issue has been out of bound for me, courtesy my ever so sincere and punctual house-maid. At times she actually coaxes me to open the door (and even cook). Once out of bed, there are not enough options to squander time and I eventually end up in kitchen.

The next debate of the day is about whether to cook lunch or breakfast or tea or all of them or even better none :P . Again I don’t have to put in much of an effort in reaching a conclusion in this regard. The biggest deciding factor is the availability of time, the next one is availability of resources (Read basic ingredients like ‘Sabji’, ‘Doodh’ and ‘bread’). Finally, the veto power rests with my laziness (which is further facilitated by my excellently cooperative memory, which comfortably forgets the canteen lunch menu for that day and makes me believe that I will surely find some good lunch in office :P ).

Once I am done with part 1 of the basic human requirements of ‘Roti, Kapda and Makaan’ (I must admit my relief that at least I don’t have to worry about the ‘Makaan’ issue on a regular basis :P ), my debatable minds reach the next platter and need a decision on ‘What to wear?’ Ahh! This indeed is a tough question (esp. being a female), with numerous factors to consider before reaching any conclusion. A neat policy of rejection is to be adopted and I start by limiting my options to what all ‘clean’ stuff is available. Second point to be studied is the site conditions ie ‘Will I be spending major portion of time on field or in office?’ ‘Is it a rainy/muddy day, or is it a sunny day, or is it for a change a pleasant day?’ The next query I raise to the practical half is that whether I have sufficient time to iron a dress or should I rather stick to 100% wrinkle free brigade (the lazy-lazy me gives a wide sneer while dragging the practical me into this sub-issue). The veto power in this case goes to the two halves combined because just when they are about to reach a consensus, I confront both of them with the ultimate question “When was the last that I wore it to office? :P.” Even though there aren’t enough females in my office to notice these issues, but I do have a reputation to maintain. :P

By the time these debates are concluded and the decisions are being implemented, I realise that like all PSU projects, I miscalculated the time. The two halves of my mind combine into one and its finally time for the ‘Jugaad’. So finally when I lock my door a little before 9, I often carry a lunch box with ‘sabji and dal’ (My unified mind reasons: Rotis should be eaten hot and should therefore be outsourced to canteen, its not so bad afterall :P). Also I am often carrying two pieces of bread in my hand. (Again my mind defends that there is nothing to be ashamed of, I am eating my breakfast and should not be bothered with the ‘What people might think?’ syndrome.) Last but not the least; I am often wearing some un-ironed dress because afterall the ironed creases last only for the first 15 minutes. :D

Being a 'Madam'

In a country like ours where nothing unifies us better than the diversity itself, many a strange customs are practiced. In many communities the daughter-in-law is rechristened and is given a name which is supposedly more auspicious for the groom and his family. A few years back, two and half to be precise, I was confronted with a similar ritual in my office. I really can't recall the exact naming ceremony, but since my employment in this company I have been invariably called 'Madam'. (I guess I wouldn't have minded so much, had it been the more trendy 'Ma'am' word, but then I was never given a choice). So thus, without realising it initially, from being Kinshuk, I became a Madam.

As a precursor to this ‘naamkaran sanskar’ I had witnessed sufficient acts to prepare myself mentally for what was in store for me in near future. (Or so I thought!) Now-a-days every corporate loves to impress its new recruits by making all the bigwigs address them during the induction module. In PSU jobs, since promotions are more time bound than performance based, thence the average age of the big shots is never less than 50 years. Though I am not too sure about what exactly goes inside their minds, but something always impels them to behave in a ‘youngish’ manner in front of the newborns of the company. As a result of this policy, we met at least 4-5 Directors, umpteen numbers of EDs and other similar ‘lesser’ mortals during our initial training sessions and a major percentage of these people loved to shake hands with a few and quite often all of us. What was a little surprising to me during these hand-shake sessions was that irrespective of their seniority (professionally as well as biologically), they invariable folded hands in front of me and did a well rehearsed ‘namaste’ instead of the usual crisp handshakes which were fervently bestowed upon my male colleagues.

I noticed this process during the three months of my training, but it didn’t really register in my mind. Personally I found the arrangement somewhat convenient esp. because of two reasons. One, being the candid rebel that I often tend to be, I was rarely appreciative of the people shaking hands with me (reasons for my dislike ranged from the pointless class that person might have taken to the smirk on his face implying that what did I want to prove by trying my luck in a ‘man’s world). Secondly, since my name is somewhat incomprehensible to the uninitiated, dodging the hand-shake often helped me in skipping my intro altogether.

After the initial common training program, where we were 17 girls in a batch of 123 (I must admit that the gender ratio was better than my college’s), we were sent off for our divisional training where I realised we were just 2 ‘madams’ in a batch of 13. So, from being one of the female new recruits of my company, I went on to become one of the madams. To be more honest, due to some reasons my colleague never actually became a madam but since my appearance always tends to portray an aged me, (sorry me) no one ever had a problem tagging me thus. However, there was still some solace to be found in the fact that my batchmates were still new to this PSU culture and could still recall my name. I thought that everything shall be fine as long as I was able to hear my name being used to address me by at least 50% janta. So, comforting and consoling my heart thus, I continued to ignore the conspiracy that was being plotted in the background by the 98% janta of my division.

Soon enough the training sessions were over and we were headed for our respective slaughter houses. I realised that 8 of us who were trained together were to be posted at the same station. I was quite comfortable with the arrangement for I thought that at least there would be familiar faces around (who knew me by my name too). However, the trailer was over by now and we were in for the real action of office life. After joining, my first realization was regarding the age of my bosses. They actually discussed their kids’ careers with us! The second revelation for me was my gender. I suddenly realised that I was a female and this fact had implications deeper than biology and psychology could ever summarize. (Perhaps I should have thought about Sociology then, but back then I used to associate Arts subjects with slight disrespect.)

‘Whether I asked for a construction posting?’ is one question that I have been answering since last 2.5 years. People usually ask this in a sympathizing tone hoping to evoke the damsel in distress and to eventually gain a favourable reputation in my eyes. But then they are not aware about my rebellious offensive side. ‘Vaise’, don’t get me wrong I usually don’t spill venom other than from my eyes. (Quoting a school friend, I rarely need to comment; the gaze in itself is sufficient to stop the non sense :) On a serious note, I never asked for a construction posting. All I had asked for was to be posted anywhere near Lucknow and by my standards 10-12 hours is near enough. On yet another serious note, I feel really thankful to the HR fellows who gave me this opportunity because in this dept. I have been able to learn a lot (tech. non tech. both), have become more practical; I get too many opportunities to thrash my contractors and am sometimes filled with a sense of accomplishment as well. Also I am thankful that I have got many chances to look beyond my computer screen and the filing cabinets (which was what most of the people, I had met during training period, had predicted). However sometimes even I think that HR people goofed up a little and have unknowingly blessed me thus. (See, I said na, Bhagwaanji always looks after me :)

Moving back to the time when I was still a novice at being a madam. I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was a girl. It is not that I was totally new to the concept of being the odd one out, but the ratio out here was shocking. Including me, there were just two females in my office and we were distinguished on the basis of our departments (even though we had lot many more differences, I must say). So while she was ‘Finance waali Madam’, I soon became the ‘Construction waali Madam’. Soon enough the whole office knew me at least by this tag even if not by face and rarely by name (Ahh! I do have a tough name). The real shock was when I saw canteen waiters and CISF personnels writing my name as Madam on bills and visitor passes!

This ‘Madam’ word had such seductive powers that soon enough many of my batchmates forgot my name and could never refer to me without this suffix. Somehow I have always found it embarrassing whenever anyone (except my juniors, who started joining six months later) referred to me thus. I happened to be the youngest employee and used to be addressed in a manner suitable for may be the first lady of the house. Sometimes I felt bad to see the efforts of my parents (in naming me) being wasted and sometimes I felt that it was an attempt to sabotage my identity. However, being human, I could not keep myself away from this trap for long. It was just a matter of time when I myself started referring to me thus. Very soon I was making calls to the canteen reception and was describing myself as ‘madam from construction’.

Now after two and a half years of a relentless struggle to make people address me by my real name, I often wonder whether the ‘saamne waala person’ is even aware of my name. However, I have surely been successful in my struggle, even though just partially. Even though my HOD, who prefers to think himself to be nothing less than a king, is still unable to use my name, yet presently there are at least 10 people in the office (out of the total 140) who are able to call me ‘Kinshuk’. However, this doesn’t really stop me from being a Madam. Almost every moment that is spent in office makes me realise my gender by actions ranging from complimenting to endearing to shocking to offensive to embarrassing to challenging to out rightly demeaning at times.

During my professional experience so far I have faced a variety of situations which can be attributed to my gender alone. I have observed that people tend to take an extra interest in my appearance (read clothes), quite vocally so. Many of these idiots are brainless enough not to be able to read my discomfort in listening to their nonsense and invariably I have to resort to offensive measures to curtail them. Also, I have noticed that some of the elderly kinds tend to take such interest in my well being and safety that it might even make my mother feel that she is not caring enough. Well, I do agree that this is not something to feel bad about, but it does seem unnatural and is quite unnerving at times. Many colleagues have preconceived notions about my abilities (and the lack of them) and prefer to think of me as a technical clerk rather than what my degree reads. Then there is yet another class of colleagues and seniors who are happy to se me working the way I do but they prefer not to hide their surprise at it as well. However, another experience which deserves a mention out here is the way the eyes of the female labours (at site) light up when they see me going on a round. Their expression and smile is worthy of all the gender fights I might have fought on a given day. I don’t want portray myself as women rights’ activist, but it is a bond only two females who are trying to make their mark in a men’s world can feel.

Going through the above paragraphs made me feel that I have been quite a feminist in this article. Well, its not that my employers have wronged me all the time and have always interacted with me with this prejudice at the back of their minds. It is more like that finally (after struggling for my rights with most of them) we have reached an agreement of sorts. My being a female does has its own limitations which need to be taken care of. There are certain constraints which have to be looked into before assigning any work to me. However it would be highly improper on my part to ‘mis-use’ my gender based liberties. So while my employers take care of my limitations, I try to ensure that I am able to use my potential.

Moreover, though it is usually the masculine sect which gets blamed for the prevalent gender inequality, yet I have often felt that more often than not, we ‘females’ are not too willing to accept the equality as well. Numerous times I have witnessed girls n Madams vying for gender based priviledges at places which offer none. Some might term it as the charm of being the fairer sex, but if equality is what we want then perhaps we should first set our minds on it. Equality should not be used as an opportunity and the clause should never become ‘equality or favouritism, whichever is more beneficial’. Also, we ourselves find it difficult to accept another female making her mark and are always looking for some ulterior methods she might have adopted in being what she is. Last year, at a dinner party I was busy chatting wid my colleagues when we were introduced to a few Bhabhijis. After an interaction of over half an hour, one of them enquired that how did I spent my afternoons; that is when I realised she had been mistaking me to be yet another Bhabhi. The wise lady was clever enough not to name ‘my husband’ once she realised her folly, but her behaviour set me thinking that why is it always difficult for us to accept each other in ‘other than normal’ scenarios. Similarly, I have often observed that whenever I meet any unfamiliar officer (irrespective of gender), it is always assumed that I must belong to the 36 hrs duty department. On a very serious note, we females are as much to be blamed as our male counterparts for propagating the gender biases that we are subjected to.

I have been a Madam for quite some time now and even though it hasn’t been a very pleasant experience on the whole, given a chance I will not be willing to exchange it for any other thing. After all, humans can go to any extent just to be outstanding and different and I get it all ready made :)

Archives: The 'WHYs' after being in Love!

Dear all,

I really don’t remember what exactly triggered me to write the following article. I do remember that it was penned after a serious ‘bakar session’ with some friend, on an impulse.

It would be highly appreciated if the personal angle is not exemplified while reading this post. It was written on an impulse. And today I found it in my diary and on another impulse I am posting it online.

As always, Happy Reading!

Kinshuk

(02.05.2010)

Today’s topic is very personal and extremely close to my heart.

LOVE; love not as in the noble and general sense; but love as the empowering emotion shared between a girl and a boy, so much so that they never want to let go of each other. Love, with all its sweetness and tenderness, with all its seduction and sensualities, with all its fragility and softness and with all its companionship and understanding.

No, I shall not write about the noble relations of love, between a mother and a child, a teacher and a student or any other similar relation where the ‘Love’ is revered and the lovers honoured. Why does it all go wrong only when a girl and boy of marriageable age decide to like and love each other and dream about spending their lives happily together? The moment they admit and announce their will to get married, all kinds of reactions are reciprocated. In a typical orthodox set-up, the permission is out-rightly denied, the two are forbidden to even look at each other (and similar such restrictions are imposed). Soon enough, the two are married off to two different persons altogether. Thereby dreams of at least two and at max all four are destroyed forever.

In the more modern scenario, families having a more ‘broad minded’ approach towards society react quite differently, at least outwardly. The two sets of families give their consent, meet up, finalize the ceremonies and finally the two kids get married.

But, Hey! Hold on……. There is a little glitch. Let us try analyzing our broad-minded families inwardly…...

Apprehensions and resentment are two different emotions with just slight justification for each other. Inwardly, it is rare that the two sets of families are happy, really happy about their respective kids getting a partner they (the latter) yearned for, for life. The two sets resent each other on the whole and the kids in particular for putting them up in such a situation.

How come issues like religion, cast, and community take the bigger stage and happiness becomes secondary. When family backgrounds are similar, the girl and the boy are mature, well settled (professionally), have financial stability in life and are such people who cannot be distinguished on such basis unless one has prior information about the differences; then why do one’s cast, creed and colour become more important the moment the discussion is about ‘Marriage’.

The said couple is fully prepared, mentally, to do everything possible to keep the two families happy and satisfied, but nothing much is in their hands to resolve the resentments.

Apprehensions of course are justified and therefore can be resolved. And yes they will do every possible thing to please and appease the families. But please, please dear God, help them with the resentments.

When I befriended him, it was not an issue. When we became the best friends, it still was not an issue. So why does it become an issue now? He is an extremely caring person, understands me absolutely, tolerates my irrationalities unconditionally, loves me more than anything else in this world, can go to any extent just to ensure my happiness and comfort….. Add to it the level of social security and status our professions provide; thus the practical issues are also sorted….. If these are not enough reasons for us to get married, then what are?

WHY? Why the big why comes here? Why does anyone at all has to judge us for things beyond our control; things which don’t make us or mar us?

I know I have to win the heart of everyone in his family. I wish one day Uncle – Aunty shall be able to say that they are proud of their son and his wife (and that shall be me).

I also wish that with time all the apprehensions of my parents get sorted and that they should tell me one day that they are proud of my decision and that they are proud of him.

Dear God, you have guided us through and through, please let us be what we have dreamt of, so often. Let us be able to keep everyone in our families happy, really happy……………

Kinshuk

(28.10.2009, 22:20 hrs)

Part 1: Rehna Tu

From quite some time, I have been thinking about starting this new label. The main purpose of this label is to enable me to share the segments of prose/ poetry/ discussion/ conversation which I come across in day to day life, with all of you.

Hope you (my dear readers) will appreciate it.

Kinshuk.

P.S. Posts under this label shall be made on an absolutely random basis.

"हाथ थाम चलना हो तो

दोनो के दायें हाथ संग कैसे

एक दाँया होगा

एक बाँया होगा

थाम लो.............. हाथ ये थाम लो

चलना है संग थाम लो।"

Origin: Lines from 'Rehna Tu', a song in the movie 'Delhi-6'

Dreams: Accomplishment or a new start ?

”Beep”. She impatiently fumbled through her purse and took out her mobile. It was his message, one single word, ‘Gandhidham’. She stared at it for two minutes. She felt slightly happy, but was unsure about how to react to it. She desperately wanted to talk to him, but she knew it well that at the first possible moment he would call. This was one moment both of them had been looking forward to since past so many years.

She sat at her desk thinking about the numerous talks they had had in this regard during last two years. Especially, ever since his zone was allotted, they used to dream hopefully about a fairy tale kind of a story. Of course, it was always clear to them that once married, nothing shall come in the way of their living together. However, they wanted it to be simple with not much justification to their parents.

For them, their priorities had been very clear, almost ever since they became couple. They just wanted to be together. Their simple dream was to be able to lie next to each other while saying ‘Good night’ and to be able to wake up in each other’s arms watching each other’s innocent smile. And to ensure that this simple dream came true, they had been working hard to make ends meet. Finally, she was into a job which offered locations close enough to his probable postings. And all that they were looking forward to was his posting.

Gandhidham, his place of posting, was going to be the city where their dreams were going to be realized. It was here that they were going to start their life as ‘Them’ instead of ‘His’ and ‘Her’. Lost in these thoughts, her mind wandered to all the issues associated with this message. In her heart, she was feeling good about Gandhidham, as it offered her an easy chance of transfer. Therefore, it implied that she wouldn’t have to justify to anyone about her plans to resign from her current job in a year or two. Moreover, since the option of transfer was open, thus no one could ever blame him for the resignation.

She knew it too well that she no longer wanted to continuing working in her present organization. Gradually this desire to resign had transformed itself from the impulsive tone to that of a nagging thought, constantly barging at the inside of her head. She felt very little satisfaction in whiling away her time at office and sometimes even while at site. The sudden headache she used to have in past due to stress had been replaced by a mild but continuous headache. It was as if a bunch of flies used to attack her the moment she used to enter the office premises and these would go away only after she was back at home and had a strong cup of tea along with a heart warming talk with either her mother or him or both.

All her ideas about good work culture and delivering quality work had been changed, forcibly so. She was totally disillusioned by the system and no longer had the zeal to try changing it. She knew she was quitting early and if she stayed, may be things might get better. Moreover, in past, she herself had always argued with people who wanted to leave India for a better life that only by staying back things could be improved. But now she herself was on a similar track. However, whenever this question came up, her mind answered that she was quitting just a job but not her cause………… they will never quit their cause.

This thought led to another and she was once again lost in his thoughts. She could clearly recall the first time they had shared their dream to bring some positive change in the society. They had been so pleasantly surprised to find that individually both of them had been nurturing these plans since a long time. The fact that they both had similar opinions and plans even in this regard had only added to their bonding. That day onwards their belief grew stronger that bringing them together is a part of Bhagwaanji’s larger plan. And since then they have been making plans, minor and major, of fulfilling the task assigned to them by the Almighty. They had decided and planned that post marriage they will start some ground work for realization of their ‘big’ dream.

Thus, up till now, their aim had been to ensure that post marriage they won’t have to stay in different cities. And now it seemed that this shall happen soon, but all love and enthusiasm for her current job had started to flicker. In her heart she felt that root cause behind her disillusioned mind, behind the adjusting, ever-compromising system was to be found at more basic ground level. More so, she felt that if she has to toil, why not let it happen for a cause which leaves her feeling pleased and gratified at the end of each day. An idea had started taking shape in her mind and she was really keen on ‘Catch them young….’ philosophy.

However, the fact remained that all these ideas were too vague to be visualized and too complicated to be understood by anyone else………except him. He was her support, a pillar she could lean on in times of happiness and in times of sorrow. He emanated faith and hope and gave her the strength to go on irrespective of whatever was happening around them. And both of them knew that her resignation will not receive many favourable responses by others, definitely not right after the marriage. Thus, Gandhidham looked like their best bet; the best offer life had presented before them in this context. However, she really wanted to hear his version first, before she started formulating any opinions, after all it was he who would continue working. Moreover after her bittersweet experience of office life, she definitely didn’t want any hassles in his work, even though she knew well enough that he has always handled stress and pressure in a much better way and he shall continue to do so. Yet she hoped to hear his voice full of expectations and happiness when he would finally call her. She remembered that once he had told her that GIMB was good from his job aspect as well.

Also, her impatient, waiting mind wandered on some other tracks, bringing in front of her visuals of post marriage life. She imagined their home, she imagined herself doing the household chores, waiting for him to return home for dinner. She imagined them living together and going around places, taking walks, watching movies and many similar activities. Till now these activities were always part of a menu card with ‘Choose any two’ written in the beginning. She really looked forward to their marriage. And though, till yesterday, all she had wanted to know was where life was taking them to, now she had whole new dreams shaping up. She wondered at the irony of life, on one side it had been their dream to get his posting; now the posting itself had opened up so many different avenues for them, to set her dreaming once again.

With her heart torn between apprehension and expectation, she waited impatiently for him to call; before she could make up her mind to tell her heart to feel happy or sad; before she could decide whether it was an accomplishment of their dreams so far or whether it was going to be a new start.

Archives: For Shades

For Shades

& all those who are still dreaming of it

4th August 2003 was the day I got myself registered at NITJSR and thus began my tryst with the journey of Jamshedpur; four years of a roller coaster ride, ups & downs, some great moments as well as well as some really bad experiences…………One thing that unifies our all the students of our dear college is that whoever is going to read the opening para of this feel shall be able to identify with sentiments expressed therein……. Now after 2 years of passing out as Batch 2k3, when I look back to the period of 2003-07 what I remember the most other than the wonderful friends I met there is SHADES. When I make this statement, many of the readers might find it to be kind of a superficial, superimposed speech, but I trust a few of those who have spent time with the shades team in 212 and 222, shall be able to reciprocate this feeling.

My first encounter with SHADES was under the guidance of 2k batch, and my first reaction was of a pleasant surprise. After so many disappointments of 1st yr college life, SHADES was like a breeze of fresh air, to see and join a handful of students turning an ED room into a fine arts exhibition hall and that too with such decorations where the room itself looked like an excellent exhibit. That year for SHADES 04, a very simple theme of Fire was chosen, we had decorated the walls in shades of yellow and red and a few other simple designs were put up at the entry/exit, but the overall outcome was very pleasant……

SHADES 05 was an experience where I got a glimpse of what goes on behind the scene and how things are actually executed to make the event a success. The theme that year was ‘Village’ and it was by far the most well executed theme, beautifully done and pretty simple as well. The walls were covered in brown using a hand made paper. Special hoods were made for the windows from hay and a beautiful mandap was erected in the center of the hall, again made from hay and decorated by earthen bells and pots. However, that year I learnt most about the execution skills from 2k1 batch seniors. The only drawback that year was that for a lot of Hay work, craftsmen were hired and this was the area we decided to work on for the years to come.

SHADES 06; well it brings me a lot of sweet and sour memories. A very diverse theme was chosen which called for a lot of skilled work; however we failed on the planning aspect involved. With due support from the senior batch, 2-3 of our batch-mates took charge of room no. 212 and with whatever little time we had, we tried our best to do justice to the theme – Universe. The effect was that whole solar system was fit into the ED room along with an alien’s colony as well. And for the all achievements of SHADES’06 credit goes to the enthusiasm of few dedicated new kids on the block J, well I m referring to the then 1st yr students of 2k5 batch. Well, whatever we could manage, overall result was okay, there were a lot of short falls (major one being that we could barely keep up with the assigned time schedule I had to attend the inaugural in the same dirty clothes I had been wearing during the work since past 3-4 days :D ). Some of the important lessons our group learnt during that phase were the aspects of time and resource planning and also the importance of keeping the individuals working with one-self motivated, involved, content and also to ensure that they get their due credit and recognition.

SHADES 07, is of course the one closest to my heart, because at all previous events, we had the guidance of our seniors and also had to rely upon their decisions for everything. They were no saints and nor were we. However for us, a group of 3-4 students of 2k3, SHADES ’07 was a challenge and an opportunity at the same time. We wanted to prove ourselves and also set up an example for all the SHADES to come. Our goals were clear; however the path was not so easy. First of all a lot of planning was done to decide the right theme and also its contents. Secondly the next most important aspect was to ensure availability of folks to work as the scheduled dates were just after Holi and hence it was essential to motivate crowd enough and well in advance. Vaise don’t get me wrong, its not that the entire 1st yr & 2nd yr batch turned up to work, however 500 students are not required to make one Shades. Once we were successful in calling students into the hall for the first time, it was the environment of the hall and the assurance that their efforts shall fetch them the deserving credit and accolades which made some 25-30 of them stay back and lend their helping hand. Also, our experience of previous year had taught us a bit about managing people, about dividing them into teams, making them feel involved and responsible in their team and also making them realise that their work was important to the club and Shades. Also, one of the most important aspects was to understand the fact that these students from 1st yr and 2nd yr were also humans and they might have some personal commitments/dreams. Nothing authorized us to treat them as either robots or bonded labour. When this kind of limited autonomy was given to one and all working for Shades 07, we were flooded with more and more unique and creative ideas and more importantly with people willing to execute those ideas and turn them into reality. Thence finally all were witness to a SHADES hall which could boast of a mermaid’s colony, wrecked ship with treasure box, a crocodile, an octopus and numerous sea creatures swimming on the walls of a huge Ocean. Looking back, if I am asked to state one achievement of Shades 07 which I feel was the greatest among all, I have only one answer; all of us got ample time to dress up well for the inaugural, the room was cleaned and exhibits displayed well in advance.

Well if anyone, after reading this article on Shades, feels that may be organizing shades was done as public welfare of college only, I have some clarifications to offer. Shades is an experience that I can never forget, not only because of the laurels it brought for the club and myself in person, but also because of the experiences I had, have helped me on every front of life. I have till date given three job interviews; two while in college and one after passing out. During the HR part of all of these, I was able to give reference to my experiences of Shades and could answer in a much better way. Also, during last 6 months I have had some near Shades experiences on my job front as well. And though time and space don’t permit me to describe it all in detail, I can assert with full conviction that those four Shades have really helped me to evolve as a person.

To all those involved in preparations for Shades 09 and dreaming of making it a huge success, here are a few tips from what I have learnt so far. First of all, your batch is immaterial, what matters most (even more than the skill) is your dedication and the amount of effort you are willing to put in. Shades is a team work and no single person can make or break it, however it’s the effort of one and all combined together which counts. Making shades happen doesn’t necessarily means being involved 24 x 7 but it does mean that whatever time u spend, u do it willingly with sincerity and dedication. Junior batches are full of energy, they just need a direction and it’s the duty of the senior batches to utilize their (the junior’s) energies in the right way, also it is your chance to set up an example and give them a glimpse of what SHADES is meant to be and how they should carry the tradition forward in years to come. Last but definitely not the least, planning is of utmost importance, a well planned complicated theme can be executed in a much better fashion than even a simple unplanned one. Lastly, my best wishes to all of you and the club. May dear God help and guide you all in making Shades 09 a grand success.

With best wishes,
Kinshuk
12.09.2009

(The above article was written on request of a 2k5 junior who was having difficulty convincing junior batches for working for FACES)

Archives: Reasons

REASONS

She woke up to the sound of her alarm, it was already 6. She had planned to get up an hour earlier today; she had been postponing some tasks for too long. However, now she couldn’t gather the will to slip out of the sheets and get going. She tried closing her eyes and snatching some more minutes of the precious rarity; sleep, but failed even at this. She just lay still, staring at the ceiling, the fan and suddenly realized that it was time for payment of bills, but she was in no mood of thinking about them, then. Her eyes wandered to the walls and some patches caught her attention. She had promised herself, this year she will definitely have the house repainted, but the year was drawing to an end. Anyways she thought, and pushed all the worries out of her mind. She wanted to think about something happy; she wanted to remember her youth, her friends and…..

She could very well recall the last day they had spent together, before they separated. It was a bright sunny morning. They were sitting in their favourite spot near that lake and trying to keep their tears from falling by keeping quiet. Finally they could not hold it any longer; he had asked, “You are really keen on this. Is nothing going to change your mind?” All she could reply was, “You know everything and even my reasons” He took her hands in his. He felt so warm. They had spent the rest of the day sitting like that, holding hands as tears marked two paths on their cheeks. The next morning he had gone and even her life got back on track gradually.

She lay still in bed, and tried to recall the day she had told him about her decision. They had gone on a coffee date and she had been unusually quiet. He had asked her many times, “What’s the matter dear, what’s troubling you so” but she had yet not gathered enough courage to speak out her mind. Finally as they paid the bills, she knew, it was now or never. She had asked him to stroll a little before going home. He took her hands, she was sweating really badly. She had managed to say, “I can’t come with you.” He was shattered. He couldn’t believe what he heard. Theirs had been a ten year old relationship and now she was asking him to go alone. How could this be? They had the best understanding and even though he had feared that something of this type was coming, he had been praying for them to remain together. But, today, life was falling like a house of cards. She had finally given voice to his greatest fears, and he knew argument will not help their case. He closed his eyes for two moments, took hold of himself and then put his arms around her. He drew her in a hug and managed to say, “I understand dear, but I will always love you.” They had parted that way.

She thought about the days that had followed. Her guilt had been so high, but he had supported her. He explained to her about God’s bigger plan. He explained that living distantly wouldn’t diminish their love. He had made her understand that perhaps they could get back together later in life.

She had no desire to climb out of bed. She cherished every memory of him, loved recalling them. It calmed her. It gave her strength. She thought about the time when he had come running to her place with an envelope fluttering in his hand. “My project has been selected. Two years of hard work is beginning to repay.” He was just so happy. They had celebrated that day in their typical style; two cups of coffee, handful of matharis and soft music in background. However, this happiness had a tinge of sadness involved. This meant he would be working abroad for next five years. This implied that she would have to leave her wards, and this was a tough decision.

Three years ago, when he was just figuring out methods to improve the construction technologies, she had started this scheme called ‘Sparsh’. She had gathered a group of seven boys and girls, all issues of the fourth class employees of the neighbourhood, and had started teaching them. Education, she felt was of utmost importance. In these three years she had realized their strong and weak points very well. She was working hard towards making them self dependent, responsible citizens of the nation. She had her dreams for these children, but if she was to go away, all her hard work will have been in vain. She had actually fought with the parents of her wards so that they could study. She knew if she would go away, the girls would be married off and the boys will end up with their fathers’ jobs. It had been a tough task and she could not leave it incomplete. The best part had been that he had understood her thoughts. He didn’t pressurize her to accompany him. Instead they had decided to carry on with their paths, with the faith that they will meet again in future.

Future, she thought about, and realized that it was time to wake up finally. Her eldest ward was appearing for his first board exam today. She had to wish him luck. She got off the bed thinking about the tasks she had to finish today, the faith undeterred that one day God will reward them for their sacrifice, after all they all had their reasons.

*~~~~~***~~~~~*

The above story has been published in the college magazine (issue of 2007 Spring Semester).